So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My hand turned me down
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Randomize
