At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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