Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
