You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize