So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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