eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
