Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It's just like the Real World with babies
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
