Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
