3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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