P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
