Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
