Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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