FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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