people are starting to question the shark bite story
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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