It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
