just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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