why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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