please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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