What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
only if we run a train.
done.
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I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
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How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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