you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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