Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize