have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
