there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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