So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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