We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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