evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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