Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
