I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Farmville is her only friend.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Less talking, more tequila
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
