OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
