it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
