grandma shit on top of the toilet
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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