is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
