I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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