You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
