You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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