Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
