Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
