i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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