We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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