Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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