my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
