K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
