i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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