My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
