The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
