She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
