john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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