my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
