evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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