Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
