so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
