Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i out mim tonsoeep
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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