I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
