His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Randomize
