Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize